Many of us are very fortunate to still share the company of one or both of our parents. And although we have most likely moved into our own place, and have started families of our own, we maintain constant contact with our moms and dads, allowing us to enjoy them and keep track of their well-being.
My worst fear as a child was that one of my parents would die. I prayed and prayed for their good health, and my request was granted. Now that I have grown up, I still crave their presence and love them more than ever.
Although we wish that our parents would live for a long time, the reality is that they are just human, and the aging process has started – or will eventually start – to show changes. As the years continue to have an impact on their bodies and their minds, it is obvious that a new stage in their lives is approaching.
Before it was them that looked after and made decisions for us. Now it’s our turn to return the favor as best as we can.
But this can be especially difficult if one of our parents is diagnosed with a chronic illness. The first reaction of our parents – and us – is that of shock.
“This cannot be happening!”
Then a whole series of emotions usually take over; from sadness, to fear, to deep anger, and finally a tint of hope enters the picture.
In order to help our parents and ourselves through this new stage in our lives, we have to learn to control our feelings and maintain a constant state of inner peace.
How? The “secret” is to change our focus on the situation.
The first step is to make a conscious choice to control our feelings and to stay POSITIVE.
Our attitude will allow us to have an open mind to learn all we can to help our parents. It is important to research as much as possible about our parent/s’ illness/disease, and to look for all the options they have to living the best quality of life possible.
Our peace of mind will reflect not only on the parent at hand, but on everyone involved in their care and treatment, such as their doctors, nurses, family, etc.
Ironically, people in many cultures are raised to believe the notion that, in order to help a loved one that is sick, we should worry about them as much as possible. It is natural to worry in such cases, but we cannot think clearly if we are constantly stressed out.
Feeling stress not only blocks our creativity, but it also drains our physical strength, which leaves us in no position to make solid decisions. To make matters worse, we can also end up sick if we allow stress, sadness, and other forms of fear to take over our lives. Then, instead of being able to help our parent/s, we will become a burden to them.
If Our Parent/s become Seriously Ill, We have Two Possible Options:
1) See the situation through the eyes of our ego, and think that the situation is a tragedy. This attitude will focus on all the possible bad things that can result, which will only make us feel almost completely powerless to help.
2) See the situation through our spiritual eyes, which will allow our curiosity to ask:
How can this situation bring something good to our lives?
In reality, all of us will face the process of aging and passing away sooner or later. So, we might as well be prepared to accept it rather than resist it.
Instead of thinking about worse-case scenarios, it is much better to think about “the miracle/s” that can result from the situation.
We must see the situation as an opportunity to appreciate more the time we still have with our ill parent/s. We can also be extra grateful for the privilege we have had for having such great parents in our lives.
We must see the situation as a “present” in which we get to help and even spoil our parent/s in a time of need.
We must reflect on, and become more appreciative of our own lives.
We must think:
“From now on, I will stop living life in the past, I will forgive, and I will focus on the present moment.”
“I will take care of myself and my parents better; psychically, mentally, and spiritually.”
“It is time to prioritize life according to what is really important to all of us.”
“Today is a great day to strengthen our relationship.”
It is time to start thinking about the possibility that this new stage is simply the beginning of our parent/s’ next spiritual journey, and that this current situation – as difficult as it for us to understand – has a great purpose in their evolution.
Finally, don’t forget that we must be EXTRA PATIENT and UNDERSTANDING with our ill parent/s, and with ourselves.
The changes that occur to their bodies will most likely make them more stubborn, irritable, and sensitive than ever.
Remember, sooner or later, our bodies and minds will not function as well as they do now. It is normal to feel fear and sadness about this inevitable fact, but it is super important that we remember that our existence is not limited to our bodies. We are, above all, spiritual beings.
So, while we still have the chance, let’s seize the present moment to enjoy our parents. Let’s take advantage of each day, of every conversation, of every moment. Let’s express with words and actions how much we care for them. Let’s forgive them and tell them how grateful we are for them, and for all they’ve done for us.
If you are going through a similar situation let me know what is helping you to keep your inner peace. If you are struggling with this, I can help! ♥
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