Your boss has just told you that you are going to lose your job…Your boyfriend dumps you…You just realized that you have lost your wallet…The IRS has sent you notice that you owe a ton of money in taxes…Your adolescent child has not returned by his curfew, and you have no idea where he is…You are being pressured to make the decision as to what major medical procedure a loved one will undertake…You just had a car accident.
The above are only a few examples of highly-stressful situation that can arise without warning.
One minute you are feeling calm and normal, the next you are facing a state of stress that can lead to a state of panic. You feel as if the world has fallen on your heavy shoulders. You can’t believe this is all happening! Maybe it’s all a huge mistake. It just can’t be possible that this terrible thing is happing to you!
What can you do?
STEP 1 – Stay Calm
Easier said than done. In truth, it is extremely difficult to keep calm during a very stressful moment.
It is vital, however, to do everything possible to remain calm so that you do not make matters worse by making a panicked decision that you will regret later, nor you become at high risk of suffering some sort of physical ailment such as an anxiety attack or falling into a state of shock.
In stressful situations, most people forget to make sure that they are in a safe environment, which can lead to further distress. For example, in a traffic jam, it is best to make sure that you will not be hit by oncoming traffic before trying to solve the issue.
Also, even of you already are in a “safe place,” retreat yourself to an area where you can take some time to calm down. For example, if you are at work and your boss drops the bomb about you losing your job, excuse yourself and take a break. Go to a restroom where you can have some privacy, or your car, or go for a short walk in a safe place and take the time you need to until you feel better.
So, stay calm, ensure that you are in a safe place, and take long, deep breaths. Inhale slowly over a count to three, hold the air in over another count to three, and then slowly release the air from your lungs. Repeat this process at least 3 times.
STEP 2 – Ask for help
Look around and find people that can help you. Even though they might be “strangers”, the majority of people are good, and willing to help out, especially in emergencies. If possible, talk to a close friend and/or family member that you trust. Ask for their advice to help you make difficult decisions because you might be under too much emotional stress to think in good judgment.
Many times we don’t want to “bother” others with our problems, but high-stress situations are definitely a good time to reach out. After all, wouldn’t you gladly help a friend, family member, or even a stranger that was experiencing a difficult time?
Remember, asking for help is not a sign of weakness. In fact, the opposite is true. Reaching out for help when needed is act of courage and maturity. It shows that you are doing everything possible to solve the problem calmly, and for the best of all involved.
STEP 3 – Do Not Believe Everything You’re Thinking is True
When we are scared, we start to believe an infinity of “horror stories” about the “the worst that can happen.” Our brains are programmed to think this way as a defense mechanism so we do something to “fix” the current situation, and to ultimately prevent further pain.
If we focus on such negative thoughts, however, we feel even worse; even if such “stories” in your mind never come to pass.
So try to make every effort possible to stay focused in the present moment and compare what is going on in reality vs what you are worrying about. Ask yourself:
“What is the real situation?”
“What are all the possibilities?”
For example, if your son has not made it before curfew, he is most likely having so much fun that he has lost track of time. Or perhaps he forgot his mobile phone at the party, and went back to get it. And all this time you’re frantically calling his phone over and over, only to be sent to his voice mail as terrible tragedies race through your head!
“Maybe he has had a terrible accident!”
“What if he got drugged and is lying in the street somewhere!”
If your boss, on the other hand, says that you’re going to lose your job for some reason (fires you, downsizing, etc.), perhaps you might start to imagine yourself ending up like a bum in the cold, lonely streets because nobody would ever give you a “loser” like you a job, and that your partner and children will never talk to you again.
In reality, if you do indeed lose your employment, it is much more likely than not that you will find another job that will allow you to remain financially stable. Who knows!? Maybe you will even find a job that you love, and that pays more than your last one!
If your boyfriend suddenly brakes up with you, surely you start to think that you’re not “good enough” for someone to love you, that you will always be alone, and that you’ll never get to have a good relationship. Chances are your now “ex” is doing you a favor! By being single again you have the opportunity to meet a person that will actually love and appreciate you with all your virtues and flaws, and with whom you will be able to create the relationship of your dreams.
So, if you experience a stressful situation, do everything possible to follow the three steps above. And remember: everything will pass and be OK!
Final Note:
I strongly recommend to anyone going through a stressful situation to seek some sort of spiritual guidance and comfort. Say a prayer, perform a ritual, meditate, etc. Have faith that God – or some other powerful Divine Intelligence – is on your side. Relax and trust that there must be some reason why you are going through this ordeal. Believe that even though it is currently difficult to see any benefit, that everything that your experience is for your own good.
Have you had a stressful situation lately?
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